I sat here with time on my hands wondering just what I could do I had no task that would demand that I pay attention to instead, I sat and wrote this poem not one of my better works but you could say I have chosen to write these words with all their quirks fifty-five years ago, today we landed on these shores embarking from a mighty ship along with many more the Queen Mary was her name a famous ship of war time but alas this was the last trip that she sailed the line as her long life had come to an end and to dry dock she was sent to be parked in a permanent place to be a monument for her it was the end but for us a new beginning as we started a life in the USA one that we were willing to give it a try to make it work not knowing of the future hoping that this new life would make us all the richer now fifty-five years later a lot has come and gone alas I am sad to say no happy ending to this song those of us that are alive are all still living here my wife has gone to the promised land for her there is no fear along with one of the daughters who chose to take her life rather than lose her husband who wanted a different wife I have two sons in England who carry the family name and they are left to carry on the only ones to remain and one of them has daughters with them the name will end from our side of the family no one to help it extend all the others of my family have long since passed away I am the only one that remains to have the family say my time is short as I grow old the last to sing this song and the name will die on my side of the line when my sons pass on. do I regret making the move leaving a land so green a part of me wish I had stayed but the future was unforeseen the land that I remember the one that I loved then is changed and gone forever as time marches to the end and I will die in a foreign land to end this wistful song. and people will grieve not be deceived nor rejoice when I am gone some I hope will remember me well for the good that I have done maybe others not so much for my friends I am an abstraction travelling around never in one place it’s hard to keep in touch and years have passed but friendships last and still mean just as much maybe we’ll meet on the other side of wherever we will end if this is so then I want you to know that everyone is my friend.
Sometimes I feel a little sad thinking of all of the friends that I have had since moving to Texas all of those years ago. Work buddies and soccer friends the list goes on and has no end some more special than the rest but at that moment passed the test of being my friend in their own way if only for a single day.
Now the list has dwindled down with a lot of time and distance flown and interests changed and no longer in the game. The wives are gone their thoughts linger on remembering times both good and bad and half my life I spent with them and at the time they were my friends and now their memories make me feel so sad.
With each passing year a new friend would appear to fill the void of those left behind. They would not replace those that came before instead adding to the list of fellowship and I was proud to call them all my friends.
Now I am so very old and all I have are thoughts so bold and memories of friends from long ago and though my time is running out I still have friends who do not doubt my love for them I will always show. Humans are a gregarious lot and need each other to stir the pot of our time on earth that we call our life. For each of us time is short and although it takes a while to pass it ends much sooner than we all like.
When my time is up and with any luck my friends will think of me with joy and say to each other he failed as a lover but boy could he kick a ball and late in his years he disappears driving in his RV touring around and not being found while seeing this great country.
I have been thinking a lot lately about Life, not just mine but life in general. It is something that every living being of all descriptions either has or doesn’t have. If it isn’t alive then in all probability it is dead and not a part of this conversation as that warrants a separate discussion.
Life is that magic mysterious thing generally created when two of the opposite sex mate and their reproductive systems create life. There are many forms of reproduction which is for a different discussion, just as there are many forms to life.
No, my thoughts have been turning toward the human variety of which I have the pleasure of being one for these past eighty five years. If I had a choice and had to pick a different form, it would probably be as a dog even though their lifespan is so short. Then I could find a master or mistress upon which I could shower all of the love, affection and attention they could possibly ever want. The saying is that a dog is a man’s and for the purposes of this discussion, woman’s best friend but it also goes in the reverse direction with the man or woman loving the dog in just the same way. In many cases, the pet is the only true friend that person has especially as we grow older and our own families have passed on or dispersed to other places in this very big world. I wonder if there is a comparison between human love and a dog or any pets love to one another. The only thing I am sure of is that it is a special bond between the human and the animal and in the animals case, no questions asked and no judgement passed.
But I digress. What I really wanted to discuss is life here today and as it happens, in the USA. I am nearing the end of mine and who knows how much longer I will get to enjoy this wonderful planet with all of it’s diversity most of which we take for granted. I have sat here in front of this big window in my RV writing and watched Nature take us through ice storms, freezing weather, snowstorms, thunderstorms, cloudy and rainy weather and fine and fair weather with the sun shining brightly in the sky. It has been a mixed bag these past six months and yet at the end of it all, Nature has come through and as if to say, “You can’t beat me”, with more growth and everything greener than ever. After the worst winter in I don’t know how long, she not only survives but flourishes. I wonder if within Nature itself, it is going through its own territorial wars with the harsh weather competing against the kinder and barmier weather of Spring and Summer. Or is the war between life and death with one side of Nature trying to annihilate the other. Of course, we shall never solve the mysteries of Nature or the reasoning of what goes on with it. We are after all, children of Nature.
I saw a cartoon strip the other day and it reflected a picture of a bunch of young kids, some who appeared to be six or seven with others much older. All were playing together outside in the woods covered in dirt and leaves and the caption read,” We played outside until it was dark”. Next to it was another picture of modern day kids all with computers and the caption read, “They don’t know what they are missing”. This is so very true and the modern day kid will grow up and never know the beauty of playing in and with nature. It will only get worse when these computer kids grow up and have children of their own who will never know that Nature even exists. No wonder that not enough people are concerned about global warming enough to stop it from happening. Too busy with their noses in their laptops. When I was a small kid, I, along with a couple of buddies would take off in the morning and be gone all day always in the woods and fields and just like the caption above, would not return until dark and sometimes after dark. Often, if my buddies weren’t around, I would disappear by myself for hours just exploring and playing with Nature as my friend. I learned a lot and was not afraid of being by myself for any reason. Except for the one time I almost stepped on a snake and ran for a half mile before stopping for breath. On the other hand, I was lucky enough to live out in the country and snakes are a part of it. Just need to see them sooner.
On school days, we walked to school picking up kids along the way and dropping them off on the way home. The school was at least three miles from my house and we didn’t think anything of it. It’s what you did. Eventually, a few would get a bike and use that as transportation as did most kids and adults alike as very few could afford to own a car. If you wanted to go any distance, you caught the bus. The area I lived in was known as Old Heathfield and several miles away was the bigger village of Heathfield. It had a High Street, a train station and several shops.
People themselves are also changing. The world on the whole is still a very good place and millions of us still care about our fellow man and the planet that supports us. There are others with very extremists views and are willing to enforce them. Man has always turned on his fellow man as long as life has existed. Some for power or wealth, others for land and country or to steal the others persons wife and family and all of his belongings all by the use of force. History shows that In a many cases, man has taken the freedom from another man and made them slaves to do their bidding.
The modern enforcer does it much more subtlety than before with rhetoric and words that encourage violence and then denies any knowledge of it. They get others to do their fighting and take all of the risks while they enjoy the popularity that these same people bestow on them. Such is the state of this country today.
Alas, although I have the luxury of reliving the days of my youth in my mind, those days will never return for future generations to enjoy. True, life was much simpler without all of the modern technology that exists but even with the hardships of simple living, I truly believe that the world as a whole was a much happier place even with World War 2 going on around us. Don’t get me wrong, I love computers and technology. I just wish they had never been invented and that life was still a simple process of living it with what you had or what you worked for. It has never been a level playing field and never will be. There will always be those who have the means and the capabilities to be wealthy and there will always be those on the other end of the scale with the vast majority somewhere in between making a living serving others and living their lives in return. I read somewhere that if all of the wealth of the world was redistributed between every living person, in the end, the ones who are currently wealthy will re-inherit the wealth as they know how to make the money grow. The rest of us will spend it on our toys and end up with nothing. Just once, I would like to give it a try. I would probably buy another more luxurious RV with a chauffer/handyman to do the work for me.
That is the problem with growing old. Too many memories of simpler times. Some of the memories are good, others, not so much but they were my life and I have lived them. I fear for this modern world and the direction for which it is taking. I fear for this country and the impending chaos as the various factions take up arms in revolt to settle the differences that they perceive as stolen. Above all, I fear for our Democracy and the way of life as we know it. Times are changing and not for the better…
Written 05/27/2021
Don’t forget to check out my old blog at https://pondblog2011.com I have decided to reprint the poetry that I have written these past 11 years that was posted in the blog listed above. So, starting tomorrow, every Tuesday and Thursday there will be a posting of my poetry from long ago added to this blog. Much of it reflects my changing life and my different interests over the years. With over three hundred poems, it should be good for a while before I run out of ideas. Enjoy…
We go through life from beginning to end and along the way meet many friends some of whom stay with us for life others we lose because of the strife of living in this everyday world as time marches by new ventures unfurled new places to see and new people to meet with our busy lives passing by in the streets we just hello as we move on by not having the time to make a reply as we each pursue whatever our task going about it like it is our last but knowing full well that tomorrow will bring more places more faces an endless string of people each living their very own lives with emotions and feeling and maybe a wife and a family to raise each to their own with millions of others who are not alone in this fight for survival to keep apace of life on this planet as the Human Race.
